why does race really matter...

touchy subject i know. but it doesnt bother me, obviously.

hmm... where to start. i sit here pondering my feelings, my thoughts, my urges. and i come to realize maybe this is what i want.
[[[roadblock]]] hes black.
this doesnt phase me i dont care what race.. however my family cares too much. im not sure what to do. i mean some people say just do what you want. and i did that before with damens father... but then i lose my family. i just hate this... why do people have to be rude. hes smart, nice, funny, working towards his masters degree, likes my son, me... what more could i ask for.
doing this is hard... it means no more family get togethers, no more family dinners, no more anything. im not going to leave him home to go to thanksgiving with my family cuz he is not welcome. thats just rude. i want to talk to him about it but im scared to. its not my fault my family is like that and i really wish i could change it, however, i cant.

i just pray for guidance and wisdom on this. if you have any thoughts please do share.