i just dont know *please comment*

how come everytime i blog i just seem to think abbas... i dont get it. maybe its cuz he changed my life tremendously. i dont know and i know it probably gets annoying but i just cant help it. i talked to him again today and we are getting along much better. he actually seems to be getting excited cuz 'im gin to georgia' Well i havnt actually made my decision yet. im leanin towards no, but when i think about it with noone elses opinion my choice is 'savannah here i come.'
this is why i dont want to leave
- i just got the rm position and i feel like if i say yes ill screw the lighthouse over
*however i know that i cant let that make me say no, but i feel so guilty

-i can transfer my americore place
*however i like the lighthouse

-im scared ill have the baby by myself
*ima strong woman, i can handle it plus i can have a friend come down

-what if its not his
*ill still be in ga where jay is

-it will be akward for him to talk to other girls
*i have to be okay with that sometime

-i still love him
*that scares me

-hes excited and ok with me not working
*is he having thoughts about us?

-IM SO CONFUSED!!! a lot of me says go down. however if i come back to pa i woulnt have a job to return to and thats why i really dont wanna go... BUT I REALLY DO WANNA GO

*it will be great for my son, to be near dad... but i dont have to be 'with' his dad

my gut my head and my heart are leading toward yes
my friends and my job are leadin me towards no

***********big thing***************

even if i do go, i will be in pa quite a bit. i got april, may, n june cuz of a friend gettin married that ill be in pa!!

so ill b here quite a bit and my friends n family are here so its not like im never gonna visit. and im gonna have quite a bit o time on my hands so ill be calling everyone