I think i want to make some changes in my life. Becoming a mother will be a great change, but Im talking spiritually and emotionally as well. I want to gain all the knowledge I can. I want to continue my education. Beauty school and the army isn't enough. I want a challenge, I want a great accomplishment. I would like to learn more about the Bible, God and all the teachings. I want to be a leader, Im done being the quiet one. Its time for me to speak up. I want to help people, teach them that they can be better. We all can (yes including me) it just takes willpower to achieve it.
I went to the Silver Ring Thing on Friday and suprisingly I really enjoyed it. It made me think a lot. I got quite a couple odd looks while i was in there and pregnant. Yes, I did feel very akward at first, but then I just thought 'you know what everyone makes mistakes' not that my son on the way is a mistake (it was a big suprise though) but that I wanted to change. I wanted sex to be special again. I want to wait for the man of my dreams, will he ever come i dont know, but i think im willing to wait. It will be something im not used to. Im not a tramp or a hussy, but I made that decision with my "boyfriend at the time being" I just kinda figure and think; everyone has sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend, its normal... but really it may be common, but its not lawful. I really hope i make it til marriage. I need a lot of willpower and prayer, ive got a lot of hormones so its something i will need to keep reminding myself that the next time i have sex its going to be special.
I started going back to church. A christian one at that. I learn more then i do at a Catholic mass. I am trying to attend every Sunday. It doesnt always work out that way, I always seem to find an excuse. Me wanting to sleep in is the biggest obsticle, i aint gonna lie. If i could sleep 75% of the day, i would. I am still attempting to read the bible. Actually even as a Catholic, i really look at the Muslim religion. My ex was Muslim, so i learned all about it and they have amazing beliefs as well. So i read quite a bit of the Quran. Sunday ill miss church (ill be in pittsburgh) as well as the following Sunday.
Another big change is I want to go to school. I may have this good oppertunity, and if i take it i will be able to go to school full time. How amazing would that be!! Right now i just cant do it. But if i get this opportunity i will be able to with no problems. And while having a baby!
There's a lot more id like to change and work on, but these are the biggest. I could go on for hours. Its not that i want to change who i am, i just want to IMPROVE.
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i don't think you are very quiet. you never shut up around me.
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